January 2010
36 posts
3 tags
T'Was Music That Got Me Through
Everything about this year was sad and greatly disappointing and left me with my mouth agape wondering “well what the fuck do i do now”. Everything did this except for music.
In no particular order, simply an order of love:
★ Bill Callahan - Sometimes I WIsh We Were An Eagle
★ Fever Ray - Fever Ray
★ Atlas Sound - Logos
★ Waterlaso - Wild
★ Cass McCombs - Catacombs
★ Desire -...
December 2009
64 posts
2010
i will not sleep with anyone i slept with five years ago.
i will get back in the habit of pilates and going to the gym so often that the people who work there hi-five me upon my entrance and exit.
i will write like a motherfucker and use the heart ache to churn out something that will make your heart quake.
♥
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wild horses
last night someone asked me what i was writing about, and i said your name, and he said “why are you writing about him!” and i looked down and said “because it’s what came to mind”. and we just kind of left it there.
what i didn’t say is that you’re easy to write about. easy in the sense that when i write i lose myself, and i lose time, and i lose the...
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things better left unsaid:
i. wake up, i want to kiss you.
ii. you’re alluring. i don’t know what it is, you just are.
iii. i miss you.
iv. i want to stay up all night with you and listen to ride and eat chocolate cake.
v. you look like your father.
vi, when you left i ran my fingers through my hair the same way you ran them my hair. and i touched myself the very way you touched me in an effort to keep you...
tooth fairy
everyone thinks it’s odd that i wanted to keep my wisdom teeth after i got them yanked out. why is that so odd? wouldn’t you want to be able to hold something that was causing you a significant amount of pain? i was in so much i couldn’t talk right or sleep. i’d wake up in the middle of the night and i couldn’t move my arm or lift my head. sometimes at work when my...
on office parties and the like:
they seem completely senseless and pointless to me.
my supervisor is being a dear sweetheart and offering to take the office out to a hot wings place tonight after work. free food on her for the holidays since she didn’t get any of the staff a gift this year. last year she gave me a whistle on a keychain with a monogrammed “D”. it’s adorable. i cherish it. i’ve still...
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TOM PETTY & THE HEARTBREAKERS/DON’T COME...
everything happens for a reason, for sure. i believe this wholeheartedly. i know one day i’ll discover the reason for this but until then perhaps a small part of my heart will always wonder why. and until then i’ll work my hardest at forgetting what we shared and i’ll work my hardest to move on so that one day i’ll be in a place to understand your significance in my life...
“You can’t allow yourself to become emotionally invested in someone who...”
– My sister. You’re the devil himself most likely.
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it must be a virgo thing
what i miss is the salt on your skin. the way you taste. the way you’re eager. the way you devour like it’s the last drop of honey from the jar. the way you let it drip onto your tongue and wrap your fingers around it, the way you wait and wait with your tongue tip reaching.
the way you get frantic and frazzled is nice too.
Dear Santa,
For Christmas I’d love a place of my own to cook in and to bake in.
Love,
Ditte
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MARIAH CAREY FT. BONE THUGS N’...
“I was told for a very long time that I was not pretty enough, too strange, not...”
– Lady Gaga. I realize this is is the last person I’d ever want to quote but sometimes you know, you just know yourself. And you know who you are, regardless of what some jealous motherfuckers would like to convince you of and tell you haven’t got, you still know. I wonder how many people...
this may sound like the silliest thing, but presently all i want to do is sit on a bench in the dressing area of bergdorf’s.
///
in the realm of unsent letters i want to tell you i think about you all the time. more than i ought to. more than i want to. i want to tell you about prisons and torment. emotional prisons. prisons of love and want and desire and things i should have said then...
“How much energy do you invest on trying to help people that don’t want...”
– Sean Stephenson. a funny thing happens when you grow up. you start to examine your relationships and you recognize those you’ve leaned on as a crutch. then you look at who’s using you and you realize you’ve simply got to eliminate that kind of scum out of your life.
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in the realm of unsent letters,
it doesn’t matter how beautiful you are, how your stubble feels against my cheek, how I enjoy a moment looking down at my hand on your thigh or a moment of being spoon fed by you with hardly enough candelight to see your eyes or even the moment when I get to see your square jaw fit a smile so wide and excited that I second guess if it’s even meant for me.
none of it could mean or matter much to...
2 tags
“A term that gets me down is “offbeat”. So many things that are...”
– Michael Cameron
stop making sense
it’s nearly 12am and all i want to do is watch a film with subtitles.
i really feel like people have no right to go around talking about things they’ve never experienced. things they’ll never understand. some things in life you can’t understand unless you’ve lived through them.
sometimes my office can be rather flippant in the things they say, and the things they assume about me. i’m not i’m not a girl who exposes herself....
on resolutions:
to me, resolutions are sort of pointless. i feel like resolutions are just an excuse to make up for all the things you’ve neglected during the year. and a reason to wait. i don’t see the point of waiting on anything ever. i think if you want something you ought to grab it up and make it yours. but then again, it’s hard to stay on track during the year. you get caught up, and you...
fuckyeahyokoono:
Question: Do you believe in happily ever after?
Yoko: Like with some guy? No. I am happily ever after now, being lucky enough to be single.
(Yoko QandA Day)
I think I may be in love with her.
3 tags
drinking wine. watching Being Erica. wondering if love truly is friendship set on fire.
///
every time i do a tarot reading about you my sister pulls the card that means “rival in love” always. its always the first card. and i feel confused and i try to make it sense of it because we were never rivals in love. we were never rivaling at all. but then when i think harder on it i...
i no longer look forward to january. but then again i’m not really sure i ever did. i’ve been making my own birthday cakes for years now, buying myself my own gifts and not expecting anyone to wish me a happy anything.
january has come to mean stress and loneliness and the start of things that i’m not really sure how i am going to finish. it’s come to mark another year...
i just made the decision not to eat anymore christmas chocolate from attorneys and the various other offices who demand the impossible out of us during the year. i appreciate that they want to show us gratitude by sending us heaping amounts of chocolate for the holiday season but- i’m done. it’s past the point of decadent and is now getting gross.
i wonder how long it is going to...
my hair has waves. i want to keep it this way.
i want to go tennessee and fall in love.
or do i want to fall in love and then go to tennesse. i don’t know.
maybe i just want to fall in love. maybe i just want to go to tennessee. but for a girl like me falling in love is a very difficult thing to do.
i want a man who buttons his shirts too low, and rolls his sleeves at the elbows and a man who dreams up adorable pet names for me, and...
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i have to remind myself that these are not things to break me, but things to shape me.
and even if its just a lie that i’ve invented to make myself feel better i still know one absolute truth which is that you’re an asshole. and i know a second truth which is that all the little tries you try are in vain. you’ll never fix this. you broke it. it’s gone.
DITTE/LISTENING TO THE VELVET UNDERGROUND IN THE...
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it’s sort of like the scene in irreversible when vincent is holding monica and he’s trying to kiss her and her hair is wet and she’s naked and you finally realize what a big ass monica has and you start to feel not so bad about your big ass and she keeps saying “no”
“no”
,
every time he reaches for her lips and its such a beautiful moment. it’s...
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To Do:
◘ Hair. I’ve been avoiding getting my hair done because I hate my hairdresser.
◘ Mall. I hate the mall. I hate the Stamford Mall so much.
◘ Tissues. I am all out of tissues at home and at my desk at work.
◘ Christmas lights. I didn’t realize how big my house was.
◘ Garland. I didn’t realize how long my staircase railing was. I didn’t realize how big my foyer was.
◘...
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SEXY SUSHI/L’IDOLE DES CONNES
I ♡ FRENCH...
