February 2010
22 posts
THE GO-BETWEENS/BACHELOR KISSES
it's only time
i feel lonesome tonight and i don’t know why. if i look at the calendar i probably know exactly why i’m feeling this way but when it comes right down to it i don’t think i feel that way because of you. i’ve let go of you. i’m just fine without you. i have nothing to gain living in memories of what we had.
if i look at the calendar all i think is “oh it’s...
January 2010
36 posts
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WATERLASO/SENSUAL PREDATORS
Tonight I invite you...
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sunday rain//letters unsent//thoughts left...
sundays like this are perfect for staying in with giant mugs of coffee and your laptop and the freedom to write and feel until the clouds turn dark and suddenly you’re shrouded in stars. sundays like this you lose yourself and you lose time and you’re overcome by an emotion that you can’t really describe, and you can’t go looking for it, because nobody has ever bothered to...
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sometimes i forget myself, and where i am. and i am unconscious during the last 45 seconds of wire’s the 15th. and i hold my breath and once it’s through i exhale with a rush and i feel euphoria and my hands are trembling and i feel as if i’ve got this little secret that nobody knows about. in moments like that i understand autoerotic asphyxiation.
that happens to me a lot with...
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in a perfect world we’d still be lovers and our hearts would still beat for one another wildly.
in a perfect world we’d sit in the middle of the living room floor kissing, our palms against the others cheeks, embracing with our mouths alone. us two in the middle of the floor listening to records, or holding hands with our eyes closed and we’d use our finger tips to speak to each...
i avoid emotional attachments because i don’t like the way my eyes feel when my heart gets broken. it feels like i’ve been crying all night even though i know i haven’t cried at all. it feels like my eyes have been punched, like i’ve spent all night sitting wide awake staring at a white screen completely dazed. i hate this feeling. i avoid this feeling. and how do you avoid...
Where Do I Begin?
Where do I begin?
Well my throat is hoarse and I was having a peaceful Sunday up until my mother made it very clear that if you’ve got your arms and you’ve got your legs what kind of pain could you possibly be in? And sometimes when she says things like this I can’t help but feel as if she’ll never possibly understand me. I know she’d like to think that she...
Evenings like this, I like to tell myself “It will be quieter in the morning”
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LULU/TO SIR WITH LOVE
“You have become like other men. But let me kiss you once again…”
– Stephin Merritt
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INFP:
“creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings…”
“Highly creative, artistic and spiritual, they can produce wonderful works of art, music and literature. INFPs are natural artists. They will find great satisfaction if they encourage and develop their artistic abilities. That doesn’t mean...
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YOUNGBLOODZ - 85
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when i resolved to leave the hurt of the previous year behind me i really meant it with my whole heart. 10 years ago i was 16 going on 17. it’s crazy to revisit myself as 16 year old. those were sad times. those were unbearable times. i used to have journals that i wrote religiously in because there was no around to listen. no one around to listen to my voice. the few people i was close with...
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my older sister is a lost woman. i mean that in the truest sense of the word. sometimes i try to find the sister i loved and looked up to and thought was the prettiest, smartest, strongest girl in the whole wide world but i don’t see that person anymore. she’s gone somewhere and i don’t know where to find her. i used to try to find her all the time but when i went searching i...
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“Well, you’re fucked up, you look like shit, but hey no problem, all you...”
– Clay , Less Than Zero. I started following Bret Easton Ellis on twitter because I thought he was an impeccable God of sorts. And then I realized he sort of had shit taste in life. Like everything he tweeted about was either dull or atrocious. So I promptly unfollowed him. But you know what? He puts...
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my spirit feels rested and renewed. i don’t know what to attribute it to, i just feel good.
i want to go to the city and spend loads of money. and then i want to stay in and bake all day. i want to channel jacqueline bissett in “class” (i love that film so much. rob lowe, boarding school) and wear over the knee boots and and my oversized cowl neck scarves and big round oversized...